Timing Is Everything
by Delenn
Summary: A little vignette from Darla's POV concerning herself, the cheerleader, her darling boy, and the pathetic soul.


**Disclaimer: All characters from 'Angel: The Series' and 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer' don't belong to me, they belong to whoever created/wrote/owns them. And yes, I am too lazy to look up the names of the people who own them, but I can guarantee it's not me. So don't sue me please!!! The story idea is mine though, so please don't use it without my permission.   
  
Author's Notes: Hey everyone! This is just a little story that came to me, ya know a 'what if' story. 'Cept, it's Darla thinking if she had done some things differently, and she's had a lot of time to think.   
  
Spoilers: Up to 'Epiphany' and 'Reprise'.   
  
Summary: A little vignette from Darla's POV concerning herself, the cheerleader, her darling boy, and the pathetic soul.   
  
Feedback: Yes! Feed the author, please! Critique/Comments/Enjoyment is greatly appreciated, honestly, just drop me a line! Goddess_Delenn@yahoo.com   
  
Distribution: Aria can have it! Everyone else has to ask, all you have to do is click the above link and tell me you want it, I guarantee I'll say yes, you just have to ask first!   
  
Songs For This Fiction: "In the end..." by Linking Park.   
  
Warnings: Sex: The word, yes, the actions, no. Violence: Death mentioned. Language: Yes. Absolutely nothing worse then the show though, promise!   
  
Pairing: Mentions: Darla/Angelus, Buffy/Angel   
  
Rating: PG-15   
  
Date Started: June 4th, 2002. 9:14pm. Date Finished: June 4th, 2002. 10:03pm.**   
  


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Timing Is Everything  
By ~Delenn~

  
  
  
  
Thinking, that's all I really get to do anymore.   
  
Being dead really makes me miss some things. Of course, there were things I didn't have, even when I was alive. Now, all I can do is think.   
  
Funny. You know, I've figured out where it all went wrong, back before the _soul_ killed me.   
  
Sure, I could spend eternity wondering what possessed me to bring my boy that damn gypsy girl.   
  
_But I've already done that_.   
  
No, that was a mistake, but a rectifiable one. I was impatient; you would think I had learned patience in 400 years, but no.   
  
I just couldn't stand seeing my _Angel_ with that girl... the slayer, no less! I couldn't face the fact that, even with his soul, my _childe_ would choose her over me. So I pushed him, made him choose.   
  
And got myself staked for the trouble.   
  
I knew all about the clause, I should have just bit my tongue, watched and waited. I knew he would fuck the damn cheerleader sooner or later, and that it would be his _moment of true happiness_.   
  
I just couldn't stand it. Angelus was happy with me. How could he no longer love me? I didn't understand the quirks of the soul.   
  
_Human_, that's all the pathetic soul wanted to be, so how could he find true happiness with another vampire?   
  
I should have bided my time. Then, when my boy had sex with that girl, had his moment of happiness, and my darling was free again I could have been there. I could have convinced him of the danger and whisked him away. She couldn't have killed him, not with I helping him.   
  
He wouldn't have been mourning me either; no destroy the world plots. William wouldn't have helped the slayer send him to hell.   
  
For, _make no mistake_, Angelus was mourning me when he tried to send the world to hell. My precious loved me, and wouldn't you want to destroy everything if you had killed the one you love? My boy, he never was for suicide, thought it a dreadful waste.   
  
All I had to do was watch the pitiful soul in love with the slayer, watch and wait, and I could have watched the soul die.   
  
But I just couldn't stand it, so I acted rashly... Don't get me wrong, all my plans are well thought out, I just never counted on _him_ killing me! And I screwed up everything.   
  
_He killed me_.   
  
I came back. I lost so much power and strength being Drusilla's child. And for what! To conceive a child I didn't want? To inherit its ghastly soul! Spend eight months always craving blood? And then to kill myself to _save_ the human child I didn't want to begin with!   
  
Yeah, I'd say everything went down hill from my first death, at my creation's hands.   
  
I'm _fucking_ Darla! I didn't give a shit about the soul, or the human child to begin with. And I go out, finally, not with some evil act worthy of my name, but with a sacrifice?!   
  
All that maternal stuff was thanks to the soul in me, so I acted rashly then too.   
  
Wanted to save the baby, save Angel, _save myself_!   
  
I get to do a lot of thinking now. _Being dead does that to a person_.   
  
The irony of it all? That one self-sacrifice made up for everything. _How fucked up is that_? So instead of rotting in hell, where at least I'd have something to do, I get stuck in oblivion.   
  
No heaven, no hell. Just white nothingness that goes on for the eternity I have left.   
  


_You see, timing is everything_.


End file.
